I'll see dead people.

Wednesday: I borrowed Core Secrets Blah Blah from my neighbor and did 60 minutes of stuff with dumbells and on the big ball thingy. Afterword I felt good but it doesn't feel the same as doing a cardio workout.

Thursday: 35 minutes elliptical, 18 minutes randomized bike, 10 minutes crunches/leg lifts

I'm already seeing a difference in how I look from a couple of weeks ago. It may just be Depleting Bloat from being about 2 days away from Not Pregnant, but it may also be that I've actually lost a little fat. No way to really tell I guess. Today I'm wearing the new jeans I got last weekend for $12 at TJ Maxx. They make my butt look good, apparently. Am doing weights/cardio at the gym for lunch today, will probably leave in a few minutes.

I'm really excited about seeing the dead people exhibit (Body Worlds 2) at the Nature & Science museum. We have tickets to see it with HulkRents the weekend of his birthday in April. I am fascinated by the human body, how it works and how it moves. Sometimes I surreptitiously watch people working out at the gym, or even walking on the street. I find watching people move to be really interesting, so I'm naturally interested in how people look in motion underneath the clothes and skin. Having the background in dance and in massage has helped me think in terms of body mechanics, what it's possible for the human body to do (or not do).

I think that the fact that this exhibit can even exist is amazing. We can preserve people in such a way that everybody can see what we look like on the inside! Holy crap!

I also think about the taboo on desecrating the dead in Western society and how it wasn't until people really started taking cadavers apart that medicine became more than folk wisdom and bloodletting (of course, there have always been medical truths in folk wisdom, but a poultice isn't going to show you how to sew someone's body back together after an attack or injury). When I watch TV that includes operations or medical stuff, I get queasy when I see someone having elective surgery (Nip/Tuck, "reality" cosmetic surgery shows, etc.) but I don't have any problem watching someone having surgery or bleeding all over the place if it's an actual (or "actual") injury. I wonder why that is?

Also, I wonder if I will get the same feeling when I see this exhibit when I did when I attended the "viewing" for my grandpa's funeral. It was this odd feeling of disconnect, because I knew my grandpa wasn't there anymore, but this waxed-looking thing was laying there in a coffin. It sort of resembled my grandpa, but mostly looked like a wax figure. Perhaps with this exhibit, since there isn't any skin involved and I'll never know what these people looked like when they were alive, it won't feel the same to be in the room with dead people.

To sum up: human bodies are amazing machines. I wish I could transfer my love of body in general to love of my own body, because a lot of the time it's really hard to turn off that inner body dysmorph that works out like mad to feel in control. There have been times in my life when I've been really proud of what my body is able to do (climbing 14ers, running in excess of 10 miles, etc.) but I wish I could focus more on what my body is able to do every day. Because seriously, all bodies are amazing and I really shouldn't take mine for granted.