Thursday, April 13, 2006

Barenaked Leghair

I'm thoroughly convinced that the recent regrettable "fashion" trend of wearing a dress with jeans underneath (and not even a really short dress, which I could excuse, but a dress that perhaps could have a hemline at the knee) is because all these celebrities just don't feel like shaving their legs.

I can relate. For reasons still unexplained, I have extremely sensitive skin on my legs, to the point where I just can't shave them unless there aren't really any hairs there. It HURTS for me to shave my legs. (I tried for years and years, and got to the point where I was using a new blade every time, shaving only once a week, using expensive organic unchemically shaving lotion, having to wait two days to put lotion on my legs to avoid razor burn, and it just got to be too much). And it must be something that runs in my family, because my little sister has the same problem.

Gloriously, a few years ago I discovered something new.Instead of shaving my legs, I wax them and then shave the few hairs the wax didn't get. So instead of having 5 days of painful razor burn before my leg skin has recovered enough to be shaved again, and having more pain (and faster stubble) any time I got goose bumps, I have about an hour or two of redness and then smooth, unpainful legs. Waxing means that I get two good weeks of smooth legs before the hairs reappear unwelcome to brush against the insides of my pants. But then I have to wait another week or two for the hairs to get long enough to wax again- so I endure that time with unsightly and uncomfortable hairy legs. Luckily, my leg hair isn't that dark - it's more that I don't like the way the hairs FEEL. They poke into my pants and they poke into my legs when they touch each other and they poke into the Hulk's legs. Bleah. I wish I could afford laser hair removal or electrolysis and never have to worry about the damn legs being all hairy again.

It's an issue now because it's finally gotten warm outside and I want to wear my skirts and my shorts and not have to feel all self-conscious about my Sasquatch-like lower extremities. In a month or so my legs will be tan enough that the hairs will hardly show at all between waxing, but right now I'm at my palest, since that skin hasn't seen the sun since last October.

I might have been raised in a hippie-like fashion, and I might have neo-hippie tendencies, but I have no interest in growing out my leg hair. Bleah. The Hulk doesn't seem to care one way or another how long I let the hair on my legs get - so it's not pressure from him - it's that I just don't like that two week wait between wax jobs. If I had a million dollars, I'd kill all those damn hair follicles. And buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel).

4 comments:

Leah said...

Or a Garfunkle. :)

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

yeah, your only option would be a depilatory, which if you're sensitive to shaving might set off a huge allergic reaction...or you could use that hair-away buffing pad that seems to work for some people (not me).

MLE said...

Depilatories: tried, worse than shaving.

Hair buffing pad: There are people it works for?

Meh, I was just kvetching about the state of my leg hair - I've got to wait another week before I can wax again but it's warm and sunny and nice NOOOOOWWW!!!

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

Probably evil blondes.