I want cake. Cheesecake.

What I want is a cold, just out of the fridge slice of lemony cheesecake. Or maybe a slice of chocolate bailey's cheesecake. Something cold and smooth and creamy and sour and sweet all at once.

PMS much?

It's been so long since I ate junk. I mean, I just don't eat it. Most of the time when someone brings goodies in to work, I pass, or at someone's retirement party I munch on the raw veggies and try not to think about the pepperidge farm cookies. The last cookie I had was purchased for our floor picnic on the 4th of July. I still have a sweet tooth but it's mostly curbed by eating bits of dark chocolate or a few chocolate covered cranberries from TJs (my mom replenished our stash when she came out). Most of the time I don't even want junk - but every once in a while, like today, I just get a hankerin'. After August 12 I'm eating whatever I damn well please for at least a couple of weeks. Dieting is for saps. And how can I pass up the opportunity for good sushi, sourdough bread, dim sum, and a fresh-from-the-oven Specialty's chocolate chip cookie when we're in CA?

Dress shopping this weekend was about as productive as I expected it to be at the only mall within walking distance - I found a couple of things that might work with some alteration (some were too big, one was strapless) but if I'm going to shell out $60 for a dress shouldn't it fit me already? It seems as though I am in between sizes, or maybe I'm just not used to shopping in Upscale Rich People stores. QIR mentioned that I should go down a size when I'm shopping in those kind of stores because of their incessant vanity sizing. Luckily, I have a date to go dress shopping with our old neighbor on Friday afternoon (yay for long lunches and no supervisors!) at a mall where I'm pretty sure I can find what I'm looking for. I've found dresses there before when I wasn't even looking.

I also need a haircut. I haven't had it cut since I chopped it all off in January 05 and it's getting pretty long. I need to get at least a few inches cut off and some layers put in and this time I'm willing to shell out some bucks to someone who knows what she is doing. The chick who chopped my hair at the Hair Cuttery didn't do a good job at all; luckily, with the kind of hair I have a bad haircut isn't terribly noticable.

My workout today at lunch wasn't quite as productive as I wanted it to be. I've been pushing myself so hard and today my body just said nope, you gotta take it easier or slower 'cuz I just ain't doin it. I still did my full weight circuit and 20 minutes on the bike (random setting, level 12) but I didn't have the energy to do the 5 minute bike cooldown or the usual crunch/leglift routine. I did an hour of cardio plus the crunches/leglifts yesterday and when I got home I was just so tired. In fact, I can't remember the last time I didn't feel tired. It's not like I have any kind of health condition precluding me from sleeping well, and our place is much quieter than our old place. I just think I need more sleep to counteract all the exercising and lower-calorie intake. Plus when it's hot at night I just don't sleep very well. And it has been hot at night for a few weeks now. You know it's hot when you don't even want a sheet to cover you, you can't touch your partner (too hot! skin touch ugh!), and even your cat gives you a dirty look when your leg brushes against him if you turn over. Of course, cat is not on the bed for snuggles, but to benefit from the fan blowing directly at him.

Usually if I am craving something, it goes away in a little while or I just drink some more water and it goes away because I was actually thirsty. But when I crave cheesecake I know it won't be satisfied unless I actually eat cheesecake. And, even when not on the home stretch of looking hott by a certain date, I almost never get to eat cheesecake anyway; the Hulk doesn't like it so I can't make it because then I would have to eat the whole thing myself.

I only want one piece.