Wednesday wedding day: Trying to grok

So, while we were in California we got a bunch of wedding stuff done. We scouted out BevMo for beer/wine; we looked at fabric for dresses; I found makeup that will work (thanks to my sister, makeup maven and she of skin very much like mine); we had our tasting (yum! so excited about the food!); got a quote from the tent rental company; had our engagement photos taken (so excited to see these! I hope we get them soon), and I had my dress fitting.

I could talk for paragraphs about any of the above things. It was kind of amazing what all we did in the few days after Christmas before we headed out for Italy. The thing I was most concerned about was the dress fitting - after all, I ordered it in August and the fitting was in December after Christmas (read: rich food and no exercise for a week), and I won't have another fitting until about 5 days before the wedding.

The dress was too big.

Yes. It has a corset back, and the back was laced up as tight as it would go in order to stay up. Now, I'm pretty sure it fit me (at least, the sample I tried on fit me) back in August. And I can't imagine I was all that much smaller at the fitting. But I was smaller, somehow, and if I get any smaller the dress will have to be taken in a few days before the wedding (and cost boatloads more for alterations. Seriously, the absolute racket that is the wedding dress alteration - my bustle? $5. Extra boning in the seams because of how the dress fits me? $30. A one-inch hem? $120!!! WTF!?!?! I told my mom I could do the hem on her sewing machine, but she insisted on paying for it and said it was one less thing for me to worry about. But $120!?!?!?! It's just a basic hem; there's no lace or beading or asymmetrical lines or anything. Boo.)

The reason I am having a difficult time grokking this is because when I went to the doctor yesterday, they weighed me. I specifically told them that I did not want to know my weight, since the number always always freaks me out, and I specifically never weigh myself because of that - instead, I judge by how my clothes fit. Well, I didn't see the number on the scale, but they had to put it in the computer during my appointment, and it was on the printout they gave me with my prescriptions. Way to go, Kaiser people! Anyhow, it freaked me the hell out, because I weigh about 10 pounds more than I thought I did, and about 20 pounds more than I'd like to weigh. According to most height/weight charts, I'm borderline overweight. Yet my size 8 clothes are fitting fine (some of my jeans are even loose) and my size 10 wedding dress (the wedding dress industry being notorious for sizing their clothing higher than street clothes, seriously I thought I'd be getting a size 12 wedding dress) is too big. If I lose much weight the dress will be falling off and I'll have to have it taken in. Yet the number on the scale, well, let's just say that I can't fathom actually weighing this much.

But I have a (nearly) visible four-pack. The cuts in my arms and legs are pretty impressive. There are only a few spots on my body where I can pinch extra. So WTH, scale? I suppose I could subtract a couple of pounds for my clothes/shoes, but still. I know they say that muscle weighs more than fat, but this is kind of ridiculous. Brain not computing. Weigh lots. Dress too big. If lose weight, dress not fit at all. But - weigh lots! ACK.

OK, so, besides the whole MLE is totally neurotic about her weight/appearance/wedding dress crap, there's more to report on the wedding front. Our invitations got finished and sent out in the mail yesterday - yay! The *kerthump* as I put them all in the blue standing box was satisfying and yet made me feel a little funny, because it's all real now, we're really doing this. We put together our guest list for the rehearsal dinner this weekend. And we've already gotten some "no"s before the invitations even went out from people we'd thought were coming to the wedding :(. On the one hand, I'm very sad about this, because they are people we would both love to have there. On the other hand, we can't control other people's life events or choices, and we hope at least that the people who can't be there will be thinking of us.

Today I stayed home from work to recover a bit from the multiple infections etc., and in between playing on the internets I've been watching some of my christmas presents from my sister (she did an awesome gift for younger sis and I; she found copies of all these movies we watched a lot as kids on DVD and gave them to us for Christmas. So far from the collection I've watched Stand By Me, Adventures in Babysitting, Dirty Dancing and the Muppets Take Manhattan) and working on my big wedding crafty project (one of them, anyhow). I can't wait to take pictures and show you guys. I think it will be awesome. Speaking of taking pictures, I need to get a new digital camera. In a perfect world where we didn't have a wedding to pay for and we had lots of disposable income, I'd get a digital SLR, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. Dan did some research and found a camera that looks great, but I've not done much research yet. Anyone want to recommend a good P&S with at least 5 MP and a shutter that doesn't take forever?